Whod you bang
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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