I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
