i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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