dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
