I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
