I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Houston, we have a squirter
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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