Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
