You're my little dorito
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
