we made out on top of his cat.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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