I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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