he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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