i would punch a child for taco bell
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
