I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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