So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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