Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize