girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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