i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
