You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
two words: eviction party
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
