Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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