I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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