handjob tips. give me some.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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