Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
