I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
