Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
