so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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