spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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