im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
