Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
