Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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