I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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