I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
