if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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