I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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