She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize