U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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