how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
