i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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