Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
