...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
