when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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