Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize