"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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