thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
