i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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