she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
