you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
