Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
