O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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