So drunk its hurt
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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