I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
