I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
