were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
