We got so high we made milksteak
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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