I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
