OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
