I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
