I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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