Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
