My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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