The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
