Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
