Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
