well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
