Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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