OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
