She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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