if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
