Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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