you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
