I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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