shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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