Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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