i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
