break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
